Monday, June 7, 2010

TV Meme Day 7: Least Favorite Episode

This is really not that much easier than favorite, despite what RyAn may say.

I mean, seriously. I really hate not liking BTVS episodes. Even Season 7, where I've seen 3/4 of the episodes only once, has its high points. I mean, Xander gets his eye gouged out. That makes most of Season 7 worth it.

The first episode that really felt like a waste of amazing writers and cast was Where the Wild Things Are. The endless Biley orgy, dear god, could've done without that times 100. HOWEVER, to say that is a least favorite is to completely discount the beautiful Anthony Stewart Head rendition of "Behind Blue Eyes". I'll be damned if that gets slapped down because of Marc Blucas.

Then there was Listening to Fear in Season 5. Oh, dear effing god, really? Really? You're going to subject me to a goddamn cockroach demon? That was so obviously plastic that Buffy "fighting" it looked more like someone wrestling with those giant Bop-py Clowns that just keep popping back up. Was there even anyone IN the costume? But to discount that episode is to completely ignore The Big Pineapple. And Buffy's breakdown in the kitchen. Neither of which is an option.

Then there's Wrecked, the episode with the Magic Fucking Crack. But I just can't bring myself to expend the energy on such a pointless metaphor.

I could easily fast forward to what would be most people's least favorite episode, for very good reason. But that episode isn't the worst one. The worst one was the episode that was the direct lead up to it. And if I have my way, it's going to get left out of niece's marathon of the season.

Dead Things. Season 6, Episode 13.

Talking about the amount of wrong in this episode chokes me. It hurts me physically to think about it.

We start the episode with Buffy and Spike fucking. I'll never use any other word for what those two did, not even in Season 7. You know, after he ALMOST RAPED HER. They fuck. Under a goddamn rug.

It's not even a funny scene, or a sweet scene, or a romantic scene. It's just sick. And the fact that Marti Noxon tries to make it cutesy, with the New Kids poster reference, and the "Tee hee, we should decorate the crypt." No. Don't DO THAT, you STUPID FUCKING STEPHENIE MEYER PROTOTYPE. She's USING HIM. He's USING HER. Don't make it more than it needs to be. THIS opened the door to the Bella/Edward abusive love BULLSHIT.

The Troika. Who, up to this point, had just been loveable losers. In Gone we got the first hint that Warren was dangerous, but the other two still seemed somewhat stable. This blew that up right in everyone's face. This...this was so disgusting, the...this girl, who was...without doing anything sexual to her, all three of them raped her, and then when she fought back, they killed her. And Jonathon was the only one who showed even a milimeter of remorse.

AND I SHOULD FUCKING NOTE. All you people who thought Andrew was this wonderful funny foible character in season 7. ANDREW was more fucking gungho to go along with this plan than even Jonathon. He was right up Warren's fucking ass, and the fact that he was brought back the next season to be just another flawed member of the group is just one more thing to fucking piss me off.

And then. Then the scene that broke Sarah Michelle Gellar. The scene she actually fucking referenced when talking about why she left the show.

Spike: "No...don't close your eyes. Look at them. That's not your world. You belong in the shadows."

Fuck. you. Marti.

The first time I saw this episode, I was so disgusted I couldn't even breathe. And you know what? When she beat the bloody fuck out of Spike in the alley later? I FUCKING CHEERED. And if it weren't for the downward spiral this season rolled steadily down, I still would.

You take an extremely sympathetic, broken character, and you have her A) Get spoken to like this (and the other LOVELY fucking comments) by the only person who makes her actually feel something? And then have her punch and basically disfigure him?


From start to near end, this episode is just a rolling ball of hate and pain in my stomach. And every. single. part. is a lead up to the events of Seeing Red. The attempted rape, the murder, Willow's turn to the dark side. This episode started it all.

The only part of this episode that I don't hate is the very, very end. Buffy with her head in Tara's lap, sobbing. That gorgeous, beautifully acted scene works in so many ways. Because it gives the fans the chance to sob. Sob at the loss of a really fantastic show. This was the beginning of the end.

I very, very sincerely despise Marti Noxon. I don't even give a shit that she wrote Surprise or so many other decent episodes. I don't actually believe she wrote them. Unless it's just that Joss wasn't around to reign in her FUCKING INSANITY.

If I ever meet this woman, I will need to be held back, because I want to punch her in her stupid face for ruining what was an amazingly strong heroine. Mostly so she could see James Marsters with his shirt off.

Fucking whore.

So. That's my least favorite episode.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. You (and Meltha) are making me strongly re-consider my least favorite episode. Because yikes, everything you wrote, I also felt... DAMN.