Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Perfect

bs21

I’ve said before that I never go to the movies. I’m more the kind to wait for it to come out on DVD, then get it from the library eight weeks later when my hold is up. It’s frustrating, sure. But I’m cheap, and some things can’t be helped.

I make rare exceptions, such as Harry Potter, or the rare Disney flicks that my niece and I go to. I’m still wanting to go see Tangled in theaters, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen.

However, when a co-worker showed me the trailer for Black Swan, my first thought was, “When is this coming out, and who is going to come with me to see it?”

As it turns out, it came out here a week after the release, and none of these bitches wanted to come with. What the hell? Luckily for me, my friend Rachael is pretty much a pushover. It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable seeing a movie alone, I just dislike not having someone to discuss it with immediately afterwards.

My first thought upon leaving the theater was, “There is absolutely no way I can write a blog entry about this.” Let’s see if I can prove myself wrong.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thank you, Pop Culture

4x8 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. It’s been a long day, with a little too much food and a little too much family bonding. I’m thankful for them, my friends, and my jobs.

That’s all very boring, though.

So here is my Top 10 List of Pop Culture Items I’m Thankful For.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dobby never meant to kill. Dobby only meant to maim. Or seriously injure.

Hey, remember me? I was abducted by aliens back in September, and am just now getting back to earth.

No, not really. In all reality, I’ve been watching nothing but shitty TV lately, and haven’t had much inspiration for a blog entry. However, today is November 20th, which means…

 carltonc

 HARRY POTTER DAY HARRY POTTER DAY HARRY POTTER DAY!

This will most likely end up being a two-part blog entry. I saw the movie today with TBF and her hubs (who postponed a childless date “night” Friday to see it because I couldn’t go with them), and on Wednesday I will be seeing it again with a friend who is coming in from out of town. I’m thrilled beyond words at getting to see a HP movie in theaters twice, as I still have not seen HBP more than the one time in theaters.

My thoughts are odd and confused, much like the movie. Please understand my warning, which is SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Go. Yay. Rah.

main

As I’ve mentioned several times over, I follow my Whedonverse people to whatever projects they choose. This has led to goodness, and it’s led to awfulness.

Enter the CW’s Hellcats.

When it comes to the projects DB Woodside picks, it’s always a toss-up. He was on Buffy, first of all. He also did an incredible job as a pedophile on CSI, which is horribly upsetting because he’s so goddamn sexy. But he was also on HawthoRNe and Viva Laughlin. Like I said. It’s a toss up.

I hate pretty much every show on the CW. It’s really gross the type of programming they use. I miss the WB. Which…Dawson’s Creek. I shouldn’t miss the WB. But between One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl and all that rot, the CW is pretty much dead to me other than ANTM.

I saw the previews for Hellcats, and thought, “Enh. Bring it On in a television show. Fuck that.” Then it showed up on DB’s IMDB page, and I had kittens. Fuck me, I have to watch this. I waited until my DVR had scooped up two of them before I gave it a shot.

This show makes my eyes roll so much I look epileptic. The plot is trying to be deep and failing miserably. The deep Full House moments are so contrived and ridiculous. Ooh, bitchy cheerleaders! Oooh, super perky happy cheerleaders! How innovative!

Of course, then this walked on my screen.

abby

Well. When you put it that way.

The choreography, which would be something to make me watch the show on its own merits (you know, if I was brain dead), is actually incredible. The moves are modern, and more hip hop than cheerleader, which I have a deep appreciation for.

So, because I’m stuck watching it for DB, I won’t be complaining.

As much.

Go team.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Born In Blood

Dexter-season-4

In the header of this blog, I made sure it stated that there would be spoilers in these entries. As someone who has both sought out and viciously avoided spoilers, I know what it is to find one that is so juicy and fulfilling it makes you tingle with anticipation or shriek with annoyance at knowing what is going to happen.

Please make no mistake. If you have not seen the fourth season of Dexter? You do NOT want to read this entry. Close it quietly, get thee to Best Buy, Netflix or your local library, and pick up the set. It’s 12 episodes, you will watch them so quickly it will make your head spin.

Did you do that?

Welcome back. You may proceed.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

America’s Next Top Model Round Up

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

I mentioned during the 30 day TV meme that ANTM is my guilty pleasure show. It is also one of those shows I’m deeply ashamed to be a fan of.

I started watching during Season 5 reruns. No, I do not call them “cycles”. It’s a TV show, not Tyra Banks’s menstrual flow. I caught up on all of the reruns, and thought, “What a fabulous show! I can’t wait to watch more!”

By season 7, I was irritated. By season 9, I was confounded. Now, I just really hate it. Mostly for Tyra’s presence. I watch the show now solely for the photo shoots and bitch drama.

The new season starts on Wednesday. To commemorate that, I decided to do Top 10 Models from the last 14 seasons.

14 seasons? Seriously? Goddamn.

Without further ado.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

September 2, 2010 (90210)

90210-of-boys-beverly-hills-90210-14123759-901-541

I was born in 1982. I may have been a child of the 80’s, but the majority of my pre-adult life took place in the 90’s. And oh, how I was a fan of Beverly Hills 90210.

I started watching because of my sister. She was four years older than I was, and she did everything before I did. She was a fan of Bon Jovi and Nirvana first. She understood what was happening in Dirty Dancing before I did. My sister and I may have one of the worst relationships of any siblings (short of the Menendez brothers), but if it weren’t for her, I might have missed out on a lot of really amazing things that took place in the 80’s and 90’s.

I watched this show religiously. It premiered in 1990, when I was eight years old. So obviously, I did NOT understand what the hell was going on. I knew two things.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Movie Meme Day 30 - Cleaning out my tear ducts

31 Day Movie Meme

Serenity_1596 (500x281)

Day 30 - Saddest death scene

I was going to use a different scene, because I had already mentioned this scene in the TV meme. But the only other scene I could use that makes me cry consistently each time is from Fried Green Tomatoes, which I already used as an answer previously.

This rips out my heart. Not just because it’s Book dying, but because of Mal’s reaction. His heart is breaking, but he’s trying to stay the strong captain. And Book is still messing with him, telling him he doesn’t have to listen to him.

I cry each time. Wash also dies, but it’s so fast, it’s so shocking, and you immediately run into the giant battle, and it’s hard to absorb that he’s gone. It’s heartbreaking, yes, but nowhere near as hard hitting as this one.

“I’m not one of your crew.”

Sniffle.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Movie Meme Day 29 - You’re watching that AGAIN?

31 Day Movie Meme

cruelintentions_1447

Day 29 - Movie you have watched more than ten times

Favorite guilty pleasure movie? Check.

Favorite movie villain? Check. Movie that makes you laugh every time? Check. Movie that makes you cry every time? Check. Best scene ever? Check check check check. Thought you wouldn’t like it and were wrong? Check. Soundtrack/Background music? Check. Movie Cast? Quote? Check. Check. Check.

Yeah. I’ve seen Cruel Intentions a few times more than 10. Like 10 times more than 10.

This movie came out in 1999, and it still looks modern. The wardrobe is not specific to a certain decade, there’s no teen vernacular to worry about. This movie can be shown in 2019 and I truly believe it would still work.

There is no part of this movie I do not like. There is no part of this movie that cannot be quoted of context and still be amazing. A coworker of mine loved for me to quote Joshua Jackson’s famous line on an almost weekly basis.

Blaine: He used to sneak into my dorm room drunk every night. We'd go at it for a little while, and then, as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. "What are you doing, man? If you tell anybody, I'm gonna kick your ass!" God. The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man's got a mouth like a HOOVER!

There’s a line missing in that quote. It also goes missing when I quote it aloud.

I saw this in the theater, when I was a Junior in high school. I promptly made all of my friends watch it, and they agreed that it was amazing. The cast alone is fantastic.

Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a cold ass bitch better than anyone I have ever seen. She is so cool and psychotic in this movie, it makes you wonder about what she’s like in real life.

Kathryn: You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard. So, I assume you've come here to make arrangements. But unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.

Ryan Phillipe goes from the cad to the flawed hero seamlessly. He gets all of the best lines in this movie, and he plays snotty spoiled rich boy with ease. Sebastian is the quintessential player, and I can totally see me dropping by panties for him.

Mrs. Sugarman: Oh! We played backgammon?
Sebastian: Uh huh. You beat me three times.
Mrs. Sugarman: I did?
Sebastian: Yup. Then I fucked your daughter.
Mrs. Sugarman: Excuse me?
Sebastian: I said, would you care for some water?
Mrs. Sugarman: No, thank you.

It's okay to smile. I won't tell anyone.

Reese Witherspoon starts out insanely boring, but by the time Sebastian breaks her heart, you’re crying right along with her. In the scene where she makes faces at Sebastian in the car, I was nearly peeing on myself laughing. I can see her making those faces in real life, and the director asking her to recreate them in the car.

Selma Blair is just…her role is pure comedic genius. I’ve never enjoyed her in a role as much as I loved her in this. I can’t stand her in movies, but she is amazing in this as the witless foible.

Cecile: This sure doesn't taste like an iced tea.
Sebastian: It's from Long Island.

Hmm. I think it’s time for a rewatch now, in fact.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Movie Meme Day 28 - Your taste in movies is abhorrent

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 28 - Most over-hyped movie

I seriously question anyone who considers this a good franchise. My reasons are many (many many many), and while I would love to explain it in depth, I have a real book here to read. With real characters. And real plot.

Mockingjay

And I’m fairly certain that when those movies get made, girls will be swooning for entirely different reasons.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Movie Meme Day 27 - Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

Candyman-Special-Edition-B0002C4JJ4-L

Day 27 - Best villain

There are a lot of incredible movie villains. My first thought actually was Voldemort. Evil, sinister, power hungry. What’s not to love?

But Voldemort doesn’t scare me. Freddy Krueger? In the original movie, oh dear god, yes. But did you see Freddy’s Dead? I rest my case.

A good villain scares the living shit out of me. I want to be so scared that he’s going to come after me that I sleep with my lights on.

Enter Candyman.

The movie came out in 1992, and I saw it not very long after it left theaters. Mind you, I was 10. TEN YEARS OLD. You want to talk trauma?

Have you heard Tony Todd’s voice? Tony Todd could go on Sesame Street and sing about vegetables with muppets and I would still. have. nightmares. His voice is like Barry White possessed by Satan. After Satan got bit by a rabid dog. And then fell down 25 flights of stairs. And landed on a bed of rusty nails.

In the rain.

I am not actually going to watch this video. I refuse. I have to go to sleep sometime tonight, and if I hear him say “Helen”, I will not be able to sleep. As it is, I may have trouble just because I’ve put the thought in my head.

Let’s discuss.

Mouth and body full of bees. BEES. Stingy stingy bees.

Hook for a hand. Not just a weak “Hey, lookie at me, I’m holdin’ a hook.” NO. Bloody stump + hook = hook for a hand.

And the real kicker. I almost put the creepy old guy from Poltergeist as best villain, but honestly, there really was not a villain in those movies. It was just, ooh, the creepy ghosts. However, seeing Poltergeist III at (yet again!) a young age instilled in me a serious fear of mirrors. Thank you, creators of Poltergeist who thought it would be a good idea to have the little girl’s reflection COME TO LIFE AND TRY TO RIP HER THROUGH THE MIRRROR.

You fuckers.

But guess how Candyman comes to life?

Oh yeah. Through a mirror.

I now need to watch Care Bears or Mean Girls or Bring it On and COMPLETELY forget about the sound of Tony Todd’s voice.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Movie Meme Day 26 - Do what?

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 26 - Freakishly weird movie ending

I’m still extremely confused by the ending of Lost Highway. In fact, I’m extremely confused by the movie in general.

This movie came out in 1997. I rented it solely because Marilyn Manson was in it. Let’s just throw the skeleton from the closet right now, I used to be a huge Marilyn Manson fan. I still enjoy the music (pre Mechanical Animals, anyway), but I’m not quite as hardcore as I was then. And to be fair, I wasn’t all that hardcore then, either. No black lipstick and goth gear.

But I was so excited to see this. I mean, the cast on this film. Bill Pullman, Patricia Arquette, Henry Rollins, Robert Blake. These are pretty big names in one movie.

I’d never seen a David Lynch project before this, but I heard he likes to create mind fuckers. So I was very interested.

I watched the movie several times over. And I still don’t understand what the hell it’s about.

One of the summaries from IMDB states:

Fred Madison, a saxophonist, is accused under mysterious circumstances of murdering his wife Renee. On death row, he inexplicably morphs into a young man named Pete Dayton, leading a completely different life. When Pete is released, his and Fred's paths begin to cross in a surreal, suspenseful web of intrigue, orchestrated by a shady gangster boss named Dick Laurent.

Have you seen the movie? That helps exactly none.

Needless to say, the ending to the film resolves nothing. NO.THING. Whatsoever. “Dick Laurent is dead.” Great! We’ve come full circle. What the fuck does THAT MEAN?!

I think the only way to understand this film is to kidnap David Lynch, hog tie him, and force him to sit next to you and explain it, piece by piece.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Movie Meme Days 24 and 25 - It’s good

Not even gonna bother with excuses anymore.

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 24 - Quote you use most often

Uhhhhhh.

I had a hard time with this one. Sure, I quote movies, but I do it without even thinking about it. And in general, I don’t notice it until someone laughs and says, “Oh, I know that movie!”

But there is a quote that I use a lot. It’s not something that comes up a lot, but, given the opportunity, I will say, and I will say it exactly like Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman do, in Bruce Almighty.

Be around me long enough, and you’ll hear me say it. Hopefully not with the big buggy eyes.

harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-hp7-teaser-poster Day 25 - A movie you plan on watching (old or new)

I honestly cannot remember the last time I was this excited about a film. This includes the other HP films I’ve gone to the theater to see.

This is technically a cheat, because Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be two movies. But I’m insanely excited about both of them.

This is really the end. The end of a huge era for everyone who has followed along. Whether that was the people who read the books from the beginning, those of us who caught up somewhere in the middle, or even those who have only seen the movies. Harry Potter means something to everyone who has experienced it. I suspect I’m going to cry more watching these movies than I have reading all of the books and watching the movies combined.

Ryan’s choice of Easy A is also valid. I’m very interested in that movie.

On a final note, today is the 10th anniversary of Bring it On. I’ve already mentioned it once in this meme, and (as always) RyAn summed up the love perfectly. See also this Hit Me With Your Best Shot post, and Ry’s response post.

Cheerleaders are dancers that have gone retarded.

Yet we love them anyway.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Movie Meme Days 22 and 23 - I’m trying here, peeps

I have no steady employment. I have no money. I have no hope. I have lost the will to blog.

But I am working on it, I SWEAR.

And that’s peeps in the non-Dr. Laura sense of the word.

31 Day Movie Meme

My own brother, a goddamn shit sucking vampire!

Day 22 - Favorite final scene/line

The first time I watched The Lost Boys, I wasn’t aware that it’s a parody/spoof. My mother, her boyfriend, my sister and I all watched it together. It was dark in her room, and we were scared shitless. It didn’t help that my mother conspired with her boyfriend and he went outside and slammed his hand into the window to REALLY scare the pants off of us.

But come the end of the movie, you’re thoroughly invested, oh, god, oh, god, we’re all going to die…then Grandpa roars in with his truck and kills the vamp. He gets out of the truck, grabs a soda from the fridge, and turns to the gang.

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires..

It’s just…perfect. As are the reaction shots that end the movie. That’s when I should’ve known it’s a humor movie, not a horror movie.

Second runner up for this is Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, with “You're still here? It's over! Go home. Go!” Also, see RyAn's entry for Back to the Future. I think his beats mine.

 

Who's your daddy now?

Day 23 - Best explosion or action scene

When I first thought about this entry, I was going to use the destruction of the White House in Independence Day, because to me, that’s still one of the most “Holy shit” explosion scenes ever featured in a movie.

But that’s a cop-out, because really, I’m not all that impressed by explosions in movies. Ooh, you blew up a house. Ooh, you blew up a car. Ooh, you caused a 25 car pile-up. Wow. I’m sure that took a lot of work.

I love beautifully choreographed fight scenes. Not ones that make me think, “Wow, that’s some nice wire harness work going on there.” And especially not ones where I think, “Nice stunt doubles.” I want good choreography that looks like the actors did as much as they could, and got their asses handed to them.

Enter Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I already thought Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the most beautiful people in the world. Brad I’ve loved since Legends of the Fall, and Angelina immediately won me over after watching Gia. So the fact that the two of them were going to be in an action movie? HELLO.

We’ve already gotten some nice action throughout the movie, some small things that just made me grin. Then the fire explodes in the kitchen, Jane comes flying out, and “Express Yourself” blasts on the soundtrack, and the battle. is. on.

This fight scene is not only amazing to watch, it’s also hilarious. I would’ve loved to have been a stunt double on this, because I can’t imagine not cracking up while fighting. They are just BEATING THE CRAP out of each other, and it’s raw and there’s no wire stunts or even guns involved. It’s all hand-to-hand, and it’s hilarious to watch.

Promptly followed by the required sex scene, which is just…wow. If I weren’t a Brangelina supporter before then, I most certainly was after that.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Movie Meme Day 21 - Theirs is a Forbidden Love

31 Day Movie Meme

Let’s thank the sexy and amazing Liz for her guest blog yesterday! Liz is amazing and awesome and please go check out her blog. Give her some Guns ‘n’ Roses love, she’ll be yours forever. I haven’t seen Zach and Miri yet, but it’s on my list. I’m glad to know it gets such high praise from someone I respect. :)

aragorn_arwen

Day 21 - Favorite romantic couple

This was a difficult one for me. I dislike romantic movies. I dislike romantic comedies, chick flicks, and all things involving forbidden/lost/long distance/past/insert your own type of love. So I had to strain my brain a bit.

I had no desire to see the Lord of the Rings movies when they first came out. Same thing with the entire Harry Potter series. Turns out a giant chess set won my attention with HP, and Orlando Bloom won me over for Lord of the Rings. TBF’s then boyfriend, who turned out to be a fuckwad, was a huge fan of the series, and insisted the lot of us watch.

I’m a huge fan of Liv Tyler, and she was really the only actor I was looking forward to in this movie. Yes, I know who Sean Astin is, yes, Elijah Wood, but honestly, who gives a fluck? It’s Liv freaking Tyler. Empire Records, for crying out loud.

The relationship between Aragorn and Arwen grabbed my attention from the start. She is so soft and sweet, and he’s so hard and tortured. I mean, this is my perfect couple here. And we get all of the things romantic movies give you. Theirs is a forbidden love, two different ethnicities, warriors, being kept apart, blah blah blah. But really, they’re just hella pretty.

After seeing Two Towers, Fuckwad informed me that in the books, Aragorn and Arwen don’t end up together. He ends up with Eomer. I immediately despised her and wanted to claw her eyes out. I was furious, and swore I wouldn’t watch the third movie. Luckily for me, Hollywood despises literature, and they changed it. Just for me.

I adore this relationship. Other than Orlando Blooms prettiness, it’s my favorite part of the films.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Movie Meme - Day 20 - Best Kiss

Oh, hi. I'm not your normal bunny. In fact, I don't associate as a bunny at all. Well, maybe after a glass of wine or two...anyway. I've known Bunny for quite some time via interwebz. We're musical soul mates. It's true.

I'm Liz. I like movies. One movie in particular that I happen to love is Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Now, yes, it is an unfortunate title, but that is the plot of the movie and all, so it works.



Like most Kevin Smith movies, it's pretty raunchy. There's fake boobs and simulated anal sex and a fuck fuck here and a fuck fuck there. But underneath it all is a very sweet love story, and I don't know about you guys, but I am a complete sucker for a good love story.

Basically it goes like this: Zack and Miri are BFF. They live together, but they have shitty jobs and are having a hard time paying the bills. Zack comes up with the idea to make some porn, because why not? People love porn and will pay a lot for it. So Zack schemes and schemes and they figure it out and they make the porn. Meanwhile, Zack is jealous of the scene Miri is going to do with another dude and Miri has her own issues with Zack's scenes. But neither of them are ready to acknowledge the feelings they have for each other, even though it's completely obvious to everyone else around them, because they've been best friends for so long.

Inevitably, Zack and Miri have a scene in the porn together. We, as an audience, are ready for them to just do it already, damn it! There's been all this tension building up for half the movie about how they're always there for each other and how they have to stick together and lalala. Finally, they have this ridiculous scene where he's delivering the milk and it's very cheesy porn-like, but finally, they get down to business. He lays her down on sacks of beans (HOT!), and he says, "We'll start kissing on a count of three? Ready? 1, 2, 3, go." And then, THEN, the most amazing Live song starts and they start kissing. It's a majorly hot kiss--so many years and so many lost moments and so many stolen glances have now built up to this kiss. Miri closes her eyes and looks like she can't even believe how hot this is. She grabs his head like she needs him to kiss her to keep on breathing. The Live song only makes this scene even more amazing and intense.

Then they do it. You know, the sex. And that's hot, too, and when it's over, they both look like the wind's been knocked out of them. Their lives are different now. They can no longer deny that they are completely in love with each other.

Of course they try to deny it and there's drama and OH NOES ARE THEY NOT GOING TO GET TOGETHER?! But of course they do because they were meant to be. They were inevitable. And so was that amazing kiss.

So...yeah. I'm going to have to rewatch this movie now. Meanwhile, here is the scene in all its glory. And if you wish to pay me a visit, you can do so here.



Thanks, Bunny!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Movie Meme Day 19 - Whatta cast

31 Day Movie Meme

Would you like to touch my penis?

Day 19 - Best movie cast

How could any movie possibly be higher than Can’t Hardly Wait on the list of best movie cast? I don’t understand how that’s possible, especially for anyone whose teen heyday was the 1990’s.

Before I say anyone else, let’s cover the BTVS alumni featured in here.

  • Seth Green (Oz) - Kenny
  • Amber Benson (Tara) - Stoned Girl (aka Banana girl)
  • Eric Balfour (Jesse) - Stoned Boy (aka Brownie boy)
  • Paige Moss (Veruca) - Ashley (“Chester Cheatah!”)
  • Clea DuVall (Marcie) - Jana (“I’m allergic to dancing”)
  • Nicole Bilderback (Unnamed Cordette) - Ready to have sex girl
  • Christopher Wiehl (Owen) - One of the guys hitting on Amanda
  • John Patrick White (Pete) - Tassel Guy

That’s a HELL of a lot of amazing actors, and all but one are background actors.

Jennifer Love Hewitt, who was one of the reining scream queens of the 90’s. Ethan Embry. Lauren Ambrose. Charlie Korsmo, who will always be The Kid from Dick Tracey for me. Along with Seth Green, they are the big players, and they’re huge. Then you have Peter Facinnelli, who I didn’t have a problem with until he signed on for Twilight.

Melissa Joan Hart, Channon Roe, Sean Patrick Thomas, Donald Faison, Jaime Presley, Jason Segel (pre HIMYM), Selma Blair, Sarah Rue, Jennifer Elise Cox, Jerry O’Connell.

If ever there was a stacked cast? This is it. Almost every big named teen actor of that time was in this movie. And rather than just being a movie shoved full of them, it’s hilariously funny and smart in it's own right. It makes you wish this was your post-high school graduation experience.

I’m still rather bitter it wasn’t mine.

Movie Memes Day 17 and 18 - Home again

I was on an airplane for hour after hour yesterday. Today I was just lazy.

Know what happens when you procrastinate? Someone steals your answers before you can even think of them.

Savvy?

Day 17 - Favorite series of related movies

My first answer was Lord of the Rings. But SOMEONE stole that answer. So I had to use my brain again. Back to the Future? No, I (sadly) hated the third movie. Scream? God, that third movie sucked. Poltergeist? If I think about it enough to see if it’s a favorite, I’ll give myself nightmares. Then there’s Pirates of the Caribbean, which…wait…

Why didn’t I think of that one first?

If it hasn’t been mentioned before, I love Johnny Depp more than I love having a head. And while it was weird as HELL to get used to Orlando Bloom without ice blonde hair and elf ears, he rapidly grew on me. And they are absolutely amazing in these movies. The outer actors, as I think of them, like Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, and Bill Nighy only add to the fun of the entire experience.

A lot of people I talk to didn’t care for the third movie. I loved all of the movies, no exception. I don’t know if the fourth movie has been confirmed yet, but I am ready, willing, and have my drool cup ready.

seven1 Day 18 - Favorite title sequence

My mother saw Se7en in the movie theater without me. I don’t think I ever really forgave her for that, because I desperately wanted to see it.

To be fair, I wanted to see it because Brad Pitt was in it, not because I was so blown away by the plot.

This may be the most beautifully fucked up movie ever made. There are many fucked up movies in the world, don’t get me wrong. But this movie is smart, and artistic, and brilliantly written. It’s not your average thriller by a long shot. Despite the fact that this is a seriously gory movie, you don’t see the worst bits. And that’s what makes it so amazing. And the opening title sequence sets that up for you.

I also love the soundtrack, the reverse sound of Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Most people wouldn’t even realize it was the song until Trent Reznor’s amazing voice lurches out “You get me closer to god”. It’s a brilliant opener to an amazing movie.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Movie Meme Days 14 - 16: Blame NY

I would be able to do this meme daily. I would. If it weren't for Central Park, Renaissance fairs, bagels, 8-inch knives, and watermelons.

There's a story to everything, this blog is not the time.

Day 14 - Favorite film in black and white

I suppose technically this would be considered a cheat, because while Clerks is indeed in black and white, it was also made in 1994, after the point when black and white movies didn't really happen anymore.

But I think the black and white aspect is part of the charm. This really was a group of friends putting together a movie. Kevin Smith is a genius when it comes to movie making (we're going to ignore Jersey Girl for the moment), and as his first movie, it's all you need to convince someone to watch the entirety of his film making career. It's sharp, funny, and in black and white, you really focus on what's being said as opposed to any attempt at flash or special effects. It's stark and just extreme amounts of fun.

Day 15 - Best musical

I'm a music baby. I grew up with music in my house, I've been going to concerts since I was around six years old. I live for good music. Ergo, musicals are heaven to me. I love musicals, and they love me. So I have a lot to choose from. Which means that I'm trying to think of a musical I love more than Across The Universe. I'm failing miserably.

It's Beatles songs. FABULOUS Beatles songs, like "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and "Happiness is a Warm Gun". Music altered, sung by different people, but still so beautiful as to make you cry, or make you smile. The acting that is built around the songs is also amazing. From the frat boys singing "With a Little Help From My Friend" to Max yelling, "Hey Judie, Judie, Judie Judie Judie" to go along with the lyrics, this movie made me smile so much. And also see above re: crying. "Let it Be" makes me cry on my best day. Set to the scene it is in this movie? I cry just thinking about it.

I love AtU for the same reasons I love Moulin Rouge. Contemporary songs redone, and also amazing scenery and color choices. But AtU squeaks by as my favorite. Just wonderful.

Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure movie

Karen: "I can't go out. ::cough:: I'm sick."
Regina: "Boo, you whore."

Janis: "Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?"

Karen: "Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now."

Gretchen: "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

Regina: "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"

Scary Homeschooling Boy: "And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals."

Gretchen: "Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!"

Regina: "I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!"

Friday, August 13, 2010

Movie Meme Days 12 and 13: New York State of Mind

First of all, let's give it up for Lori for so generously guest blogging day 11's meme entry. Lori is the bomb, if you're not reading her blog, get your ass over there.

I was going to post yesterday's blog entry, but I was stuck in an Atlanta airport for literally 5 hours, with a "you have to pay" wifi system that I wasn't feeling. I managed to sneak one hour of time, but any more would've pushed my luck. So, two in one. Also, the next four or five days' worth of entries will be live from New York.

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 12 - Best soundtrack/background music in a scene

I'm not even going to lie. Bring it On is one of my favorite movies. I love the energy, the sass, the sarcasm. I've also discussed my love for good choreography, and a movie about cheerleading is all about the dance and movement.

The soundtrack is fabulous. I don't think there's one song on there I don't like. All throughout the movie you get these great songs, not including the original cheer at the beginning that will get stuck in your head faster than a commercial jingle. Parts of these songs play throughout, and you groove on them without realizing it while watching.

Then, in the final cheerleading scene, all of those songs are mashed together to make up the song they perform to. I was absolutely tickled pink by this. From Blaque's "As If" to Smashmouth's "Freaking Me". It's just a great use of a soundtrack, and I think it made the final performance even more fun to watch.

Love. Love love love this movie. And only 3/4 because Eliza's in it.

















Day 13 - Favorite animated movie

This is another one of those that doesn't require a moment's hesitation. I still have the ticket stub from seeing The Little Mermaid in the theater when I was a little girl.

As a little girl, I loved it because Ariel is pretty, the movie is funny, and there's singing. But growing up, the message just resonated so beautifully with me. Who doesn't want to experience something they don't have? There's so much in the world you want to do, and there's always something that's trying to hold you back, and you fight against it.

Ariel didn't want to go to the surface to meet a boy. She wanted to learn. She wanted to know about books and fire and the way humans live. Finding a cute boy was just another thing to motivate her on.

Ursula is my favorite Disney villain. First of all, she's a BBW. Then, she's purple and evil. Oh, she's so much fun.

I got involved with a debate on a favorite website of mine some time back about this movie. A woman didn't like that Ariel has to give up her voice for a boy. She felt it wasn't empowering. I felt she completely missed the point of the movie.

If you listen to the lyrics of Poor Unfortunate Soul, it's telling you right there the anti-message of the movie.

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle babble for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man


So Ariel gives up her voice. And she meets Eric, and he thinks she's so freaking beautiful, but he really can't get into her because he doesn't know who she is. She can't talk to him. Once she gets her voice back and can speak again, he falls in love with her.

It's a fairy tale way to get to the point, but I like those.

I also love and can sing the words to every song on the soundtrack. I had it on a CD when my niece was very very little with other Disney songs, and my favorite one to sing to her while driving was Les Poissons. I did the overly exaggerated French accent, and she loved when I would shriek the "Hee hee hee haw haw haw!" parts.

And then there's Part of Your World, which you can catch me singing at random sometimes when I think no one is around.

Final note: My hairdresser, who diligently dyes my hair dark red as often as I can afford it, has a gorgeous little girl about my niece's age. I've babysat her before, so she knows my name. But hairdresser has another client with my name, as well. So her daughter has a way to differentiate us.

I'm the one with "Ariel hair".

I love my hairdresser's little girl.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Movie Meme Day 11: Kingdom of the Crystal Crap

Hi. The first thing I should tell you is that this is not your Bunny speaking. Bunny is off being all jet setting hot shit, so instead of Bunny goodness, you get me. Who the hell am I? I'm Lori. I've known Bunny for about a million years, and we like each other. Yes, we like each other like that, too. For all you pervs out there. If you'd like to like me too, I can be found on Twitter. I also blog over at Oh Shit, She's Awake.

But enough about me.

This is supposed to be about Meme. A movie meme to be exact.

Day 11 - A movie that disappointed you.

Oh, Indy.
Why? Why Indy, why?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull disappointed me more than almost any other. It shook me to my core; it broke my heart. It almost ripped apart the seams of my childhood. I wanted to like this movie. I wanted to like this movie so much that I was willing to forgive the fact that Shia LeBeouf was in it, playing Indy's son Mutt. Yeah, that's right. Mutt.

Shia LeBeouf of the Keanu Reeves school of acting, in which actors learn the fine craft of playing the same character in every film they are in. Seriously. Watch Transformers, then watch Crystal Skull. Same bumbling, idiotic character. Different clothes. Perhaps if they'd have had Shia naked in both movies, there's have been something to look at.

Or more likely, movie goers would have been wondering "where's the LeBeouf." Okay, that was bad even by my standards. But it was about as hackneyed as Shia's performance in Crystal Skull.

Cate Blanchette over-acted and over-accented her way into my "holy shit that was bad" hall of fame with her portrayal of the evil Irina. And that hair. Oh, the hair. Wrong on so very many levels.

Don't even get me started on the whole alien angle.

Aliens? Really?
Why'd it have to be... aliens.

As far as I'm concerned, the only saving grace for this movie was the reuniting of Ford's Indy with his long lost love Marion - played, thankfully, by the original Marion, Karen Allen. The spark from the very first movie was a most welcome sight. The dialogue came easily between the two. Almost like they'd successfully done it before or something.

And most unlike any of the strained and uncomfortable dialogue between any of the other characters.

Don't get me wrong. I still love Indy. I will always love Indy. He's a big part of my childhood. And I still love all of the other movies. It's just that this one was painful for me to watch. Not because the performances were sub-par. Not because the plot was unnecessarily complex.

Not even because Indy's gotten older. Hell, we've all gotten older. That doesn't mean that we can't still go on an adventure and kick a little ass.

What I missed was the sheer, undiluted joy of the first three. The sit back, relax and take me for a ride feeling that came along with the other Indy romps. Hell, even Temple of Doom was better, and that was the weakest of the first three films.

But it still had heart.

Crystal Skull lacked heart.

Maybe the aliens took it.

Stupid aliens.


Trailer for the movie that never really was.... *sigh*

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Movie Meme Day 10 - How do you like them apples?

31 Day Movie Meme

tn2_good_will_hunting_1

Day 10 - A movie you thought you wouldn't like but ended up loving

No, TBF. I am not watching Good Will Hunting. Why? Because it looks stupid.

No. No. No. Why? Why would I want to watch any movie with Matt Damon in it? Or Ben Affleck when Kevin Smith’s name isn’t attached to the picture?

No. No. No. Look, I brought other movies for us to watch! Let’s watch Can’t Hardly Wait again! Or Rock of Love, which I despise! Or paint dry!

Please no?

Come ON, I watched Shrek 3 for you! Why must you make me watch movies I don’t want to?

FINE. FINE. But if I hate it, it’s on your head.

Well, that was funny.

Okay, that was sweet.

OMG he is not singing “Afternoon Delight”!

Awwww. That was sweet.

Okay, I’m an idiot.

--

The best friend lives for me telling her I’m an idiot and she was right. As do I, for the record.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Movie Meme Day 9 - Causing a scene

31 Day Movie Meme

I move the stars for no one

Day 09 - Best scene ever

This meme is way harder than the TV meme. I guess I am more movie-minded than TV minded. Unless we’re talking BTVS, of course.

To come up with this, I figured I would run my top 10 list through my head. First movie on the list is Labyrinth, my all-time favorite movie for life. I’ve seen some amazing movies in my life, but none has surpassed it for pure charm, humor, music, and happiness.

There is so much to love in the movie, but the staircase puzzle set to Within You made such a huge impression on me when I was little. I could walk out of the room during any other scene in the movie, but as soon as I heard the opening chords signifying this scene was starting, I would run back into the room.

First of all, the scenery is absolutely incredible. Jareth running up and down the stairs, walking upside down and sideways. Toby appearing upside down, the crystal bouncing up the steps to him. Sarah running all over trying to get to him, Jareth appearing and disappearing. Walking through her, coming up from underneath. Yes, the effects were very 80’s, but they were lovely 80’s. Jim Henson did it up, and he did it well.

If there’s one thing you should learn about me, it’s that I’m a music fiend. So it would only make sense that a musical would be my ideal movie. David Bowie singing in a muppet movie? There is no bad.

From the first moment we see the stairs until she jumps, it’s just a truly, truly amazing scene.

How you turned my world, you precious thing
You starve and near exhaust me
Everything I've done, I've done for you
I move the stars for no one

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Movie Meme Day 8 - That is so high school

31 Day Movie Meme

Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show

Day 08 - Movie that should be required high school viewing

I struggled with this category today. A movie so meaningful that all high schoolers should see it? I’m constantly seeing books that should be mandatory for high schoolers, but movies?

Obviously this would have to be something deep and meaningful, with a strong message. And you know, my brain just doesn’t feel up to it today. Fuck strong message. High school is full of angst, and pain. You’re so busy in your own head trying to fit in, or not fit in. Worrying about bullies or problems at home, or finding your own identity. Why the hell would you want someone telling you, “This is so deep and meaningful you must see it!”

Fuck that shit. Let’s dance.

I had the advantage of having unconventional parents. They were 21 years old when I was born, and they didn’t know what the hell they were doing, so my sister and I got to experience things some kids might be sheltered from for awhile. Rock concerts, R rated movies, etc, etc, etc. And when I was very very young, I got to experience Rocky Horror Picture Show. And while I didn’t in ANY way understand what I was seeing, I loved every bit of it. So much brightness and movement and singing, and dancing. Fabulous. I continued to watch it over and over throughout my life, and as the plot finally started to sink in, I loved it more and more.

Every high school student needs to not only watch this movie, they need to go to a midnight screening and throw toast and toilet paper. If I were a high school teacher, that would be a mandatory field trip.

At the very least, they should all be able to do The Time Warp. The best episode of MTV’s horrid My Super Sweet Sixteen was the granddaughter of the inventor of Spam. Her party was utterly original and unconventional, and she made everyone learn the dance and do it at her party. Brilliant.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Movie Meme Day 7: Why would you do this to me?

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 07 - Least favorite movie by a favorite actor or actress

How does one choose Eliza Dushku’s worst movie? I mean, there is an awful lot to choose from.

The best way to work that out, though, is to look at the acting skills. I don’t just love Eliza because she’s the sexiest woman alive. I adore her because she is an insanely talented actress. Who happens to be the sexiest woman alive.

My first go-to horrid movie of hers is Soul Survivors, but she is actually really great in that movie. Her best roles involve her being some form of a badass, and she fulfills that beautifully in that movie. I just have to forget that the plot makes no sense and the acting of everyone else is worthy of eye stabbage.

Then there’s Wrong Turn. Dear god, was that a wrong turn for her career. But she plays horrified hill people kidnap victim very nicely, and she gets to be a bit of a fighting badass.

Open Graves. The Kiss. City by the Sea. I mean, we could keep going. But the movie that really, really shames me to say I’ve seen it because of her is The New Guy.

I had such promise for the movie before I saw it. I mean, Eliza rides a damn bull. And the video of her trying on bikinis made its way across the internet to me, and gave me shiny happy thoughts.

But…have you seen the movie? That is a waste of a good actress if ever there was one. I cannot imagine why she agreed to appear in this movie, though I can understand why the casting director chose her. You want a shitty script to succeed? Put a sexy woman in the main role.

She’s a cheerleader without the slightest bit of sexiness that she had in Bring it On. She falls all over the geeky kid, while playing a balancing act with the asshole boyfriend that she can’t seem to shove to the side on her own.

And the writing is so god awful that her talent as an actress is pretty much gone. If you were to judge Eliza solely based on this movie, I could understand why you would question her being my favorite actress.

Sad. So sad.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Movie Meme Day 6: Something in my eye

31 Day Movie Meme

I'm older and I have more insurance

Day 06 - Movie that makes you cry every time

I love these questions that are quick answers.

I don’t know how old I was the first time I saw Fried Green Tomatoes. It came out in ‘91, and if I saw it then, I don’t think I felt the full impact for many years.

I know I watched it with my mother, because we attempted to cook fried green tomatoes on our own. They did not fair well in our hands.

This movie is so light and funny, while being so heart wrenching with a very severe message all at the same time. This movie covers so many different levels of pain, from severe racism to death and dismemberment. But above all else, it’s a story about friendship.

Anyone who knows me knows just how deeply I cherish friendships. I don’t waste my time with acquaintances. You’re either a very close friend, or you’re just someone whose name I know. If you’re my friend, you’re mine. I will chew through steel bars to protect you. My mama lion instincts come out hardcore for friends. And because of that, this movie drags out all of my tears, kicking and screaming.

The relationship between Ruth and Idgie is my favorite friendship in any movie or television show in history. One could look at it as a lesbian relationship, and yes, I can see that angle. But my relationship with TBF gets transfered onto theirs, so I see it as a gorgeous, true deep friendship.

I was horrified to discover that TBF had never seen this movie. I rented it, and sat down at her house with a box of kleenex between us. And I was not surprised to see her grab one out of the corner of my eye.

My two favorite (heart wrenching) quotes from the movie:

Mr. Percy: Why did you go with Idgie Threadgoode?
Ruth: Because she... she's the best friend I ever had, and I love her.

Sipsey: Miss Ruth was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave.

I’m tearing up now, in fact.

A beautiful movie, with amazing humor and soul ripping sadness.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Movie Meme Day 5: Burn the reels

31 Day Movie Meme

Dumbass

Day 05 - Movie you loathe

Ask me my favorite movie, and I’m going to need a minute to work my thoughts out.

But a movie that I hate? A movie that makes me want to punch the writers, directors, crew, and entire cast?

Yeah, that’s not really a problem for me.

I did not pay money to see There’s Something About Mary in theaters. My mother’s boyfriend rented it well after the fact, and I remember watching it with them, and not laughing even one time throughout the entire film.

This movie was the start of my hatred for all of the actors in it. And when I say I hate them, I mean I really, truly cannot stand the sound of their voice nor the site of their face.

There is nothing amusing about this film. It goes for the stupid jokes each and every time. From the cock and balls stuck in the zipper, to the hair, to the flattened leathery old lady tits. Really? You couldn’t have worked a little harder? Comedies have been around for centuries. If you can’t come up with your own original idea, steal from the best. Don’t throw a bunch of shit together and hope it works.

I despise Cameron Diaz. Her entire persona makes me want to claw her eyes out. Ben Stiller has not been in one decent movie. And Matt Dillon lost any sense of respect I had for him up to this point.

The time I spent watching this movie is time I will never get back. And I’ll never forgive these people for that.

This isn’t the only movie I could’ve chosen from. It actually was a tie between this and South Park: The Movie. There’s also American Pie, though that gets a by because of Alyson Hannigan.

For anyone who anticipated me saying Twilight, I honestly did consider it. However, I said at the beginning that this bullshit would not be discussed at length in this blog. I know eventually that rule will be broken, but not yet. Plus I haven’t seen (nor will I see) the shitty ass movie.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Movie Meme Day 4: What are you laughin’ at?

31 Day Movie Meme

The goddamn pen is blue!

Day 04 - Movie that makes you laugh every time

This one is no contest. From the first time I watched this movie, and every time since, I laugh my coddamn ass off at Liar, Liar.

This movie goes against everything I’m amused by. I hate actors who are overacting hams. Will Ferrell makes my spine ache from his stupidity. I cannot stand Steve Carrell. And in almost all of his roles, Jim Carrey is so overly that I just want to slap him and tell him to knock it the fuck off.

But in this movie, he is absolute perfection. This movie is always my go-to when I’m aggravated, or need a good laugh. The jokes run through my head, and when my mother’s goddaughter was little, we used to do “The Claw” to her, and have her just dying of giggles.

The plot line is fabulous, and so simple you wonder, “Why didn’t I write that?” Not only is it someone who cannot tell a lie no matter what, it’s a lawyer who can’t lie. Brilliant! And he’s a total fucker, which means it’s so deeply ingrained in him that telling the truth is nearly painful.

Jim Carrey does a beautiful job of showing how hard it is for him to tell the truth. The faces that irked me in Ace Ventura were exactly what was needed here. The reactions of everyone around him to his truth telling were also enough to have you peeing on yourself.

There isn’t a down moment. Even when you’re feeling horrible for Max for having such a shitty father, you’re picked back up by the humor.

Some of my favorite moments:

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!

Your client knocked over an ATM.

“He needs your legal advice.“
"Stop breaking the law, asshole!”

I cannot tell a lie, but I can write one!

The pen is blue, the pen is blue, the goddamn pen is blue!

Owie!

“What the hell are you doing?”
I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?”

I could keep going.

Second runner up to this is the only other overacted Jim Carrey movie I enjoy, which is Bruce Almighty. But my most quoted line from that movie isn’t even by Carrey himself. It’s the entire scene with Steve Carrell, which TBF and I quote constantly.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Movie Meme Day 3: Best Oscar Nom

31 Day Movie Meme

Squirrel!

Day 03 - Favorite Oscar-nominated movie from most recent ballot

I neither pay attention to Oscar noms nor watch the Oscars. The most I pay attention to is the fashion on the red carpet. And I don’t even care that much about fashion. So I had to go to my boy with all the knowledge, RyAn, for the list.

It also doesn’t help that I haven’t seen 90% of the movies nominated.

Of the ones I have seen, though, there’s really no contest. I watched Up with TBF and her husband, with my godson crawling around on the floor tangled up in my knitting.

Within the first, what, ten minutes? That movie had me bawling into the couch. Followed rapidly by me laughing my ass off.

There is no badness in this movie. Not only is the plot original and fabulous, the visuals are breathtaking. I mean, the image of balloons exploding from the top of the house alone is a visual orgasm. Then once they get to South America, the woods are so bright and realistic, and Kevin is the most insanely gorgeous creature in any Disney or Pixar movie in history.

The characters are so much fun. As crotchety as Carl is, your heart immediately goes out to him. You saw what he went through, so you can’t fault him for it. The earnestness of Russell is at first rather annoying, but eventually the realization starts to kick in that there’s more going on with this kid’s back story then we’re being told. Once it comes out, it’s all gooey heart melt.

And, of course, we would be remiss if we left out Dug. TBF told me that there would be a line that would make me fall over laughing. The minute Dug stopped mid-sentence and shrieked, “Squirrel!” I almost peed on myself. That is essentially exactly what I do. It’s really bad. And that is what most people take away from the movie, and it’s too perfect.

I personally think this should have won Best Picture. Take that, Oscars.

And if it weren't this one, it would be RyAn's pick, which he summed up beautifully.

Screw Body Fascism

I knew nothing about Gina Torres’ new show Huge when Whedonesque said it was premiering. As a matter of fact, I learned about it the day it actually was premiering. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I’m not keeping up with my people the way I used to.

I set my DVR up to record the show, then promptly ignored it. If I haven’t mentioned it 100 times before, I’m picky about the television shows I watch, and I’m very rarely super excited to jump into a new one.

Finally, I watched the first episode last week. Then I promptly watched the remaining five episodes.

I absolutely freaking love this show.

Will

Bypassing Gina Torres for a moment, let’s discuss Nikki Blonsky. I didn’t jump on the Hairspray remake bandwagon immediately. Zac Effron actually is a Whedon alumni (baby Simon in an episode of Firefly), and I’m a John Travolta fan. But it was a remake of a movie I hold near and dear, and how could anyone possibly take the place of Rikki Lake and Divine in my heart?

I actually bawled my eyes out watching Hairspray. I can’t help it, I’m a big beautiful bitch in my own right, and seeing fat chicks win the gold always makes me happy.

Cut to Huge. This show is actually REALLY depressing. Hell, in the first episode we lose a character because of Bulimia. It’s hard to get more depressing than that unless you show someone slitting their wrists after running over their pet kitten while staring at a picture of their dead mother.

The character Nikki plays, Will, is proud of her fat. Mind you, she’s proud of it as a defense mechanism rather than downright love of her poundage. And that’s okay, because this is ABC Family, for christ’s sake. They need to do something to make up for Pretty Little Liars (which I also record, for Bianca Lawson. We won’t discuss that train wreck)

But Will is a smart ass. She’s a “rebel”. She has fatspiration on her bunk, and she sells contraband Twinkies. There is no bad here. She’s snarky and mean spirited, but damaged. How much fun is this going to be?

Dorothy

Gina Torres is one of the top 10 most gorgeous women alive. She’s also a phenomenal actress. I’ve seen her in some truly horrendous roles (Cleopatra 2525, anyone?), but she plays with real integrity and sharp skills. I enjoy everything she does, and she doesn’t disappoint in this. Her stoic nature is brilliant as a camp director, and the quiet pain of dealing with her father and lying to her mother is just…she brought tears to my eyes, I’m not even going to lie.

That chick who...

It’s hard to focus on any of the other campers, just because there are a lot of them and I’m not good with their names. Mostly it’s “The girl who ___” and “The guy who ___”. I know Amber, solely because if I was a camper in this world, I would do everything in my power to make her life miserable because she’s the pretty one. But this is a wonderfully diverse group of actors. And it’s about damn time we saw some pudgealicious people on television.

Becca

I particularly enjoyed when, in the second episode, the bitchy girls squealed and giggled about the book that was an obviously thinly veiled reference to Twilight, then later in the same episode, the awesome girl (Becca, so says IMDB) is quietly reading Hunger Games. Now, I could cry foul that attention was paid to a rip-off of that shitty tripe. But then I realized, Twilight was never mentioned by name. Instead, the stupid girls are shown loving it. And the smart and lovely girl is shown reading the actual book. Awesomecakes.

That happiness was destroyed when two episodes later they watched the movie based on that book. But I rather enjoyed that the fake version was as cheesy and horrible as its basis.

More people need to be watching this show. It’s so enjoyable, and I truly hope it continues for many seasons.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Movie Meme Day 2: Why haven’t you seen this?

31 Day Movie Meme

Have you seen my stapler?

Day 02 - Movie that you think more people should see

It never ceases to shock me when I find out someone hasn’t seen Office Space.

Admittedly, I came into the game late myself. I only saw it about four or five years ago. After watching it, I was horrified that it had taken me so long.

This movie puts the cult in cult classic. The humor is brilliant, but with enough slapstick goofballness to keep the less academically minded (like me ::cough::) happy.

Ron Livingston is amazing as Peter. From the beginning, with his hatred of the drone lifestyle, to his realization that he doesn’t have to follow the same dreadfulness day in and day out. And in a series of events that would never happen in real life, his slackerness leads to praise and protection.

Each of the characters in supporting roles are perfection, but of course the greatest (and most quoted) one is Milton. People know the classic stapler line without even having seen the movie. You can quote him completely out of context of the movie and people will be amused.

I’m not a Jennifer Aniston fan, so I choose to tap dance around that subject. She was fine here.

But the quotes from this movie are ridiculously keepable. As with all cult classics, it’s a situation where, when someone quotes the movie, there’s an audible gasp and the exclamation of, “You’ve seen Office Space, too!”

I think this should be one of those movies that did so good in the movie theaters that it lasted there for months, then sold massive amounts of VHS and DVDs. As it is, I think this movie is on the $5 rack.

Which means everyone has a reason to buy and watch it.