Day 28 - Most over-hyped movie
I seriously question anyone who considers this a good franchise. My reasons are many (many many many), and while I would love to explain it in depth, I have a real book here to read. With real characters. And real plot.
And I’m fairly certain that when those movies get made, girls will be swooning for entirely different reasons.
Day 27 - Best villain
There are a lot of incredible movie villains. My first thought actually was Voldemort. Evil, sinister, power hungry. What’s not to love?
But Voldemort doesn’t scare me. Freddy Krueger? In the original movie, oh dear god, yes. But did you see Freddy’s Dead? I rest my case.
A good villain scares the living shit out of me. I want to be so scared that he’s going to come after me that I sleep with my lights on.
Enter Candyman.
The movie came out in 1992, and I saw it not very long after it left theaters. Mind you, I was 10. TEN YEARS OLD. You want to talk trauma?
Have you heard Tony Todd’s voice? Tony Todd could go on Sesame Street and sing about vegetables with muppets and I would still. have. nightmares. His voice is like Barry White possessed by Satan. After Satan got bit by a rabid dog. And then fell down 25 flights of stairs. And landed on a bed of rusty nails.
In the rain.
I am not actually going to watch this video. I refuse. I have to go to sleep sometime tonight, and if I hear him say “Helen”, I will not be able to sleep. As it is, I may have trouble just because I’ve put the thought in my head.
Let’s discuss.
Mouth and body full of bees. BEES. Stingy stingy bees.
Hook for a hand. Not just a weak “Hey, lookie at me, I’m holdin’ a hook.” NO. Bloody stump + hook = hook for a hand.
And the real kicker. I almost put the creepy old guy from Poltergeist as best villain, but honestly, there really was not a villain in those movies. It was just, ooh, the creepy ghosts. However, seeing Poltergeist III at (yet again!) a young age instilled in me a serious fear of mirrors. Thank you, creators of Poltergeist who thought it would be a good idea to have the little girl’s reflection COME TO LIFE AND TRY TO RIP HER THROUGH THE MIRRROR.
You fuckers.
But guess how Candyman comes to life?
Oh yeah. Through a mirror.
I now need to watch Care Bears or Mean Girls or Bring it On and COMPLETELY forget about the sound of Tony Todd’s voice.
I’m still extremely confused by the ending of Lost Highway. In fact, I’m extremely confused by the movie in general.
This movie came out in 1997. I rented it solely because Marilyn Manson was in it. Let’s just throw the skeleton from the closet right now, I used to be a huge Marilyn Manson fan. I still enjoy the music (pre Mechanical Animals, anyway), but I’m not quite as hardcore as I was then. And to be fair, I wasn’t all that hardcore then, either. No black lipstick and goth gear.
But I was so excited to see this. I mean, the cast on this film. Bill Pullman, Patricia Arquette, Henry Rollins, Robert Blake. These are pretty big names in one movie.
I’d never seen a David Lynch project before this, but I heard he likes to create mind fuckers. So I was very interested.
I watched the movie several times over. And I still don’t understand what the hell it’s about.
One of the summaries from IMDB states:
Fred Madison, a saxophonist, is accused under mysterious circumstances of murdering his wife Renee. On death row, he inexplicably morphs into a young man named Pete Dayton, leading a completely different life. When Pete is released, his and Fred's paths begin to cross in a surreal, suspenseful web of intrigue, orchestrated by a shady gangster boss named Dick Laurent.
Have you seen the movie? That helps exactly none.
Needless to say, the ending to the film resolves nothing. NO.THING. Whatsoever. “Dick Laurent is dead.” Great! We’ve come full circle. What the fuck does THAT MEAN?!
I think the only way to understand this film is to kidnap David Lynch, hog tie him, and force him to sit next to you and explain it, piece by piece.
Not even gonna bother with excuses anymore.
Day 24 - Quote you use most often
Uhhhhhh.
I had a hard time with this one. Sure, I quote movies, but I do it without even thinking about it. And in general, I don’t notice it until someone laughs and says, “Oh, I know that movie!”
But there is a quote that I use a lot. It’s not something that comes up a lot, but, given the opportunity, I will say, and I will say it exactly like Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman do, in Bruce Almighty.
Be around me long enough, and you’ll hear me say it. Hopefully not with the big buggy eyes.
I honestly cannot remember the last time I was this excited about a film. This includes the other HP films I’ve gone to the theater to see.
This is technically a cheat, because Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be two movies. But I’m insanely excited about both of them.
This is really the end. The end of a huge era for everyone who has followed along. Whether that was the people who read the books from the beginning, those of us who caught up somewhere in the middle, or even those who have only seen the movies. Harry Potter means something to everyone who has experienced it. I suspect I’m going to cry more watching these movies than I have reading all of the books and watching the movies combined.
Ryan’s choice of Easy A is also valid. I’m very interested in that movie.
On a final note, today is the 10th anniversary of Bring it On. I’ve already mentioned it once in this meme, and (as always) RyAn summed up the love perfectly. See also this Hit Me With Your Best Shot post, and Ry’s response post.
Cheerleaders are dancers that have gone retarded.
Yet we love them anyway.
I have no steady employment. I have no money. I have no hope. I have lost the will to blog.
But I am working on it, I SWEAR.
And that’s peeps in the non-Dr. Laura sense of the word.
%5B6%5D.jpg "My own brother, a goddamn shit sucking vampire!")
Day 22 - Favorite final scene/line
The first time I watched The Lost Boys, I wasn’t aware that it’s a parody/spoof. My mother, her boyfriend, my sister and I all watched it together. It was dark in her room, and we were scared shitless. It didn’t help that my mother conspired with her boyfriend and he went outside and slammed his hand into the window to REALLY scare the pants off of us.
But come the end of the movie, you’re thoroughly invested, oh, god, oh, god, we’re all going to die…then Grandpa roars in with his truck and kills the vamp. He gets out of the truck, grabs a soda from the fridge, and turns to the gang.
One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires..
It’s just…perfect. As are the reaction shots that end the movie. That’s when I should’ve known it’s a humor movie, not a horror movie.
Second runner up for this is Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, with “You're still here? It's over! Go home. Go!” Also, see RyAn's entry for Back to the Future. I think his beats mine.
Day 23 - Best explosion or action scene
When I first thought about this entry, I was going to use the destruction of the White House in Independence Day, because to me, that’s still one of the most “Holy shit” explosion scenes ever featured in a movie.
But that’s a cop-out, because really, I’m not all that impressed by explosions in movies. Ooh, you blew up a house. Ooh, you blew up a car. Ooh, you caused a 25 car pile-up. Wow. I’m sure that took a lot of work.
I love beautifully choreographed fight scenes. Not ones that make me think, “Wow, that’s some nice wire harness work going on there.” And especially not ones where I think, “Nice stunt doubles.” I want good choreography that looks like the actors did as much as they could, and got their asses handed to them.
Enter Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I already thought Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the most beautiful people in the world. Brad I’ve loved since Legends of the Fall, and Angelina immediately won me over after watching Gia. So the fact that the two of them were going to be in an action movie? HELLO.
We’ve already gotten some nice action throughout the movie, some small things that just made me grin. Then the fire explodes in the kitchen, Jane comes flying out, and “Express Yourself” blasts on the soundtrack, and the battle. is. on.
This fight scene is not only amazing to watch, it’s also hilarious. I would’ve loved to have been a stunt double on this, because I can’t imagine not cracking up while fighting. They are just BEATING THE CRAP out of each other, and it’s raw and there’s no wire stunts or even guns involved. It’s all hand-to-hand, and it’s hilarious to watch.
Promptly followed by the required sex scene, which is just…wow. If I weren’t a Brangelina supporter before then, I most certainly was after that.
Let’s thank the sexy and amazing Liz for her guest blog yesterday! Liz is amazing and awesome and please go check out her blog. Give her some Guns ‘n’ Roses love, she’ll be yours forever. I haven’t seen Zach and Miri yet, but it’s on my list. I’m glad to know it gets such high praise from someone I respect. :)
Day 21 - Favorite romantic couple
This was a difficult one for me. I dislike romantic movies. I dislike romantic comedies, chick flicks, and all things involving forbidden/lost/long distance/past/insert your own type of love. So I had to strain my brain a bit.
I had no desire to see the Lord of the Rings movies when they first came out. Same thing with the entire Harry Potter series. Turns out a giant chess set won my attention with HP, and Orlando Bloom won me over for Lord of the Rings. TBF’s then boyfriend, who turned out to be a fuckwad, was a huge fan of the series, and insisted the lot of us watch.
I’m a huge fan of Liv Tyler, and she was really the only actor I was looking forward to in this movie. Yes, I know who Sean Astin is, yes, Elijah Wood, but honestly, who gives a fluck? It’s Liv freaking Tyler. Empire Records, for crying out loud.
The relationship between Aragorn and Arwen grabbed my attention from the start. She is so soft and sweet, and he’s so hard and tortured. I mean, this is my perfect couple here. And we get all of the things romantic movies give you. Theirs is a forbidden love, two different ethnicities, warriors, being kept apart, blah blah blah. But really, they’re just hella pretty.
After seeing Two Towers, Fuckwad informed me that in the books, Aragorn and Arwen don’t end up together. He ends up with Eomer. I immediately despised her and wanted to claw her eyes out. I was furious, and swore I wouldn’t watch the third movie. Luckily for me, Hollywood despises literature, and they changed it. Just for me.
I adore this relationship. Other than Orlando Blooms prettiness, it’s my favorite part of the films.
