Movie Meme Day 8 - That is so high school

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 08 - Movie that should be required high school viewing

I struggled with this category today. A movie so meaningful that all high schoolers should see it? I’m constantly seeing books that should be mandatory for high schoolers, but movies?

Obviously this would have to be something deep and meaningful, with a strong message. And you know, my brain just doesn’t feel up to it today. Fuck strong message. High school is full of angst, and pain. You’re so busy in your own head trying to fit in, or not fit in. Worrying about bullies or problems at home, or finding your own identity. Why the hell would you want someone telling you, “This is so deep and meaningful you must see it!”

Fuck that shit. Let’s dance.

I had the advantage of having unconventional parents. They were 21 years old when I was born, and they didn’t know what the hell they were doing, so my sister and I got to experience things some kids might be sheltered from for awhile. Rock concerts, R rated movies, etc, etc, etc. And when I was very very young, I got to experience Rocky Horror Picture Show. And while I didn’t in ANY way understand what I was seeing, I loved every bit of it. So much brightness and movement and singing, and dancing. Fabulous. I continued to watch it over and over throughout my life, and as the plot finally started to sink in, I loved it more and more.

Every high school student needs to not only watch this movie, they need to go to a midnight screening and throw toast and toilet paper. If I were a high school teacher, that would be a mandatory field trip.

At the very least, they should all be able to do The Time Warp. The best episode of MTV’s horrid My Super Sweet Sixteen was the granddaughter of the inventor of Spam. Her party was utterly original and unconventional, and she made everyone learn the dance and do it at her party. Brilliant.

Movie Meme Day 7: Why would you do this to me?

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 07 - Least favorite movie by a favorite actor or actress

How does one choose Eliza Dushku’s worst movie? I mean, there is an awful lot to choose from.

The best way to work that out, though, is to look at the acting skills. I don’t just love Eliza because she’s the sexiest woman alive. I adore her because she is an insanely talented actress. Who happens to be the sexiest woman alive.

My first go-to horrid movie of hers is Soul Survivors, but she is actually really great in that movie. Her best roles involve her being some form of a badass, and she fulfills that beautifully in that movie. I just have to forget that the plot makes no sense and the acting of everyone else is worthy of eye stabbage.

Then there’s Wrong Turn. Dear god, was that a wrong turn for her career. But she plays horrified hill people kidnap victim very nicely, and she gets to be a bit of a fighting badass.

Open Graves. The Kiss. City by the Sea. I mean, we could keep going. But the movie that really, really shames me to say I’ve seen it because of her is The New Guy.

I had such promise for the movie before I saw it. I mean, Eliza rides a damn bull. And the video of her trying on bikinis made its way across the internet to me, and gave me shiny happy thoughts.

But…have you seen the movie? That is a waste of a good actress if ever there was one. I cannot imagine why she agreed to appear in this movie, though I can understand why the casting director chose her. You want a shitty script to succeed? Put a sexy woman in the main role.

She’s a cheerleader without the slightest bit of sexiness that she had in Bring it On. She falls all over the geeky kid, while playing a balancing act with the asshole boyfriend that she can’t seem to shove to the side on her own.

And the writing is so god awful that her talent as an actress is pretty much gone. If you were to judge Eliza solely based on this movie, I could understand why you would question her being my favorite actress.

Sad. So sad.

Movie Meme Day 6: Something in my eye

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 06 - Movie that makes you cry every time

I love these questions that are quick answers.

I don’t know how old I was the first time I saw Fried Green Tomatoes. It came out in ‘91, and if I saw it then, I don’t think I felt the full impact for many years.

I know I watched it with my mother, because we attempted to cook fried green tomatoes on our own. They did not fair well in our hands.

This movie is so light and funny, while being so heart wrenching with a very severe message all at the same time. This movie covers so many different levels of pain, from severe racism to death and dismemberment. But above all else, it’s a story about friendship.

Anyone who knows me knows just how deeply I cherish friendships. I don’t waste my time with acquaintances. You’re either a very close friend, or you’re just someone whose name I know. If you’re my friend, you’re mine. I will chew through steel bars to protect you. My mama lion instincts come out hardcore for friends. And because of that, this movie drags out all of my tears, kicking and screaming.

The relationship between Ruth and Idgie is my favorite friendship in any movie or television show in history. One could look at it as a lesbian relationship, and yes, I can see that angle. But my relationship with TBF gets transfered onto theirs, so I see it as a gorgeous, true deep friendship.

I was horrified to discover that TBF had never seen this movie. I rented it, and sat down at her house with a box of kleenex between us. And I was not surprised to see her grab one out of the corner of my eye.

My two favorite (heart wrenching) quotes from the movie:

Mr. Percy: Why did you go with Idgie Threadgoode?
Ruth: Because she... she's the best friend I ever had, and I love her.

Sipsey: Miss Ruth was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave.

I’m tearing up now, in fact.

A beautiful movie, with amazing humor and soul ripping sadness.

Movie Meme Day 5: Burn the reels

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 05 - Movie you loathe

Ask me my favorite movie, and I’m going to need a minute to work my thoughts out.

But a movie that I hate? A movie that makes me want to punch the writers, directors, crew, and entire cast?

Yeah, that’s not really a problem for me.

I did not pay money to see There’s Something About Mary in theaters. My mother’s boyfriend rented it well after the fact, and I remember watching it with them, and not laughing even one time throughout the entire film.

This movie was the start of my hatred for all of the actors in it. And when I say I hate them, I mean I really, truly cannot stand the sound of their voice nor the site of their face.

There is nothing amusing about this film. It goes for the stupid jokes each and every time. From the cock and balls stuck in the zipper, to the hair, to the flattened leathery old lady tits. Really? You couldn’t have worked a little harder? Comedies have been around for centuries. If you can’t come up with your own original idea, steal from the best. Don’t throw a bunch of shit together and hope it works.

I despise Cameron Diaz. Her entire persona makes me want to claw her eyes out. Ben Stiller has not been in one decent movie. And Matt Dillon lost any sense of respect I had for him up to this point.

The time I spent watching this movie is time I will never get back. And I’ll never forgive these people for that.

This isn’t the only movie I could’ve chosen from. It actually was a tie between this and South Park: The Movie. There’s also American Pie, though that gets a by because of Alyson Hannigan.

For anyone who anticipated me saying Twilight, I honestly did consider it. However, I said at the beginning that this bullshit would not be discussed at length in this blog. I know eventually that rule will be broken, but not yet. Plus I haven’t seen (nor will I see) the shitty ass movie.

Movie Meme Day 4: What are you laughin’ at?

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 04 - Movie that makes you laugh every time

This one is no contest. From the first time I watched this movie, and every time since, I laugh my coddamn ass off at Liar, Liar.

This movie goes against everything I’m amused by. I hate actors who are overacting hams. Will Ferrell makes my spine ache from his stupidity. I cannot stand Steve Carrell. And in almost all of his roles, Jim Carrey is so overly that I just want to slap him and tell him to knock it the fuck off.

But in this movie, he is absolute perfection. This movie is always my go-to when I’m aggravated, or need a good laugh. The jokes run through my head, and when my mother’s goddaughter was little, we used to do “The Claw” to her, and have her just dying of giggles.

The plot line is fabulous, and so simple you wonder, “Why didn’t I write that?” Not only is it someone who cannot tell a lie no matter what, it’s a lawyer who can’t lie. Brilliant! And he’s a total fucker, which means it’s so deeply ingrained in him that telling the truth is nearly painful.

Jim Carrey does a beautiful job of showing how hard it is for him to tell the truth. The faces that irked me in Ace Ventura were exactly what was needed here. The reactions of everyone around him to his truth telling were also enough to have you peeing on yourself.

There isn’t a down moment. Even when you’re feeling horrible for Max for having such a shitty father, you’re picked back up by the humor.

Some of my favorite moments:

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!

Your client knocked over an ATM.

“He needs your legal advice.“
"Stop breaking the law, asshole!”

I cannot tell a lie, but I can write one!

The pen is blue, the pen is blue, the goddamn pen is blue!

Owie!

“What the hell are you doing?”
“I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?”

I could keep going.

Second runner up to this is the only other overacted Jim Carrey movie I enjoy, which is Bruce Almighty. But my most quoted line from that movie isn’t even by Carrey himself. It’s the entire scene with Steve Carrell, which TBF and I quote constantly.

Movie Meme Day 3: Best Oscar Nom

31 Day Movie Meme

Day 03 - Favorite Oscar-nominated movie from most recent ballot

I neither pay attention to Oscar noms nor watch the Oscars. The most I pay attention to is the fashion on the red carpet. And I don’t even care that much about fashion. So I had to go to my boy with all the knowledge, RyAn, for the list.

It also doesn’t help that I haven’t seen 90% of the movies nominated.

Of the ones I have seen, though, there’s really no contest. I watched Up with TBF and her husband, with my godson crawling around on the floor tangled up in my knitting.

Within the first, what, ten minutes? That movie had me bawling into the couch. Followed rapidly by me laughing my ass off.

There is no badness in this movie. Not only is the plot original and fabulous, the visuals are breathtaking. I mean, the image of balloons exploding from the top of the house alone is a visual orgasm. Then once they get to South America, the woods are so bright and realistic, and Kevin is the most insanely gorgeous creature in any Disney or Pixar movie in history.

The characters are so much fun. As crotchety as Carl is, your heart immediately goes out to him. You saw what he went through, so you can’t fault him for it. The earnestness of Russell is at first rather annoying, but eventually the realization starts to kick in that there’s more going on with this kid’s back story then we’re being told. Once it comes out, it’s all gooey heart melt.

And, of course, we would be remiss if we left out Dug. TBF told me that there would be a line that would make me fall over laughing. The minute Dug stopped mid-sentence and shrieked, “Squirrel!” I almost peed on myself. That is essentially exactly what I do. It’s really bad. And that is what most people take away from the movie, and it’s too perfect.

I personally think this should have won Best Picture. Take that, Oscars.

And if it weren't this one, it would be RyAn's pick, which he summed up beautifully.

Screw Body Fascism

I knew nothing about Gina Torres’ new show Huge when Whedonesque said it was premiering. As a matter of fact, I learned about it the day it actually was premiering. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I’m not keeping up with my people the way I used to.

I set my DVR up to record the show, then promptly ignored it. If I haven’t mentioned it 100 times before, I’m picky about the television shows I watch, and I’m very rarely super excited to jump into a new one.

Finally, I watched the first episode last week. Then I promptly watched the remaining five episodes.

I absolutely freaking love this show.

Bypassing Gina Torres for a moment, let’s discuss Nikki Blonsky. I didn’t jump on the Hairspray remake bandwagon immediately. Zac Effron actually is a Whedon alumni (baby Simon in an episode of Firefly), and I’m a John Travolta fan. But it was a remake of a movie I hold near and dear, and how could anyone possibly take the place of Rikki Lake and Divine in my heart?

I actually bawled my eyes out watching Hairspray. I can’t help it, I’m a big beautiful bitch in my own right, and seeing fat chicks win the gold always makes me happy.

Cut to Huge. This show is actually REALLY depressing. Hell, in the first episode we lose a character because of Bulimia. It’s hard to get more depressing than that unless you show someone slitting their wrists after running over their pet kitten while staring at a picture of their dead mother.

The character Nikki plays, Will, is proud of her fat. Mind you, she’s proud of it as a defense mechanism rather than downright love of her poundage. And that’s okay, because this is ABC Family, for christ’s sake. They need to do something to make up for Pretty Little Liars (which I also record, for Bianca Lawson. We won’t discuss that train wreck)

But Will is a smart ass. She’s a “rebel”. She has fatspiration on her bunk, and she sells contraband Twinkies. There is no bad here. She’s snarky and mean spirited, but damaged. How much fun is this going to be?

Gina Torres is one of the top 10 most gorgeous women alive. She’s also a phenomenal actress. I’ve seen her in some truly horrendous roles (Cleopatra 2525, anyone?), but she plays with real integrity and sharp skills. I enjoy everything she does, and she doesn’t disappoint in this. Her stoic nature is brilliant as a camp director, and the quiet pain of dealing with her father and lying to her mother is just…she brought tears to my eyes, I’m not even going to lie.

It’s hard to focus on any of the other campers, just because there are a lot of them and I’m not good with their names. Mostly it’s “The girl who ___” and “The guy who ___”. I know Amber, solely because if I was a camper in this world, I would do everything in my power to make her life miserable because she’s the pretty one. But this is a wonderfully diverse group of actors. And it’s about damn time we saw some pudgealicious people on television.

I particularly enjoyed when, in the second episode, the bitchy girls squealed and giggled about the book that was an obviously thinly veiled reference to Twilight, then later in the same episode, the awesome girl (Becca, so says IMDB) is quietly reading Hunger Games. Now, I could cry foul that attention was paid to a rip-off of that shitty tripe. But then I realized, Twilight was never mentioned by name. Instead, the stupid girls are shown loving it. And the smart and lovely girl is shown reading the actual book. Awesomecakes.

That happiness was destroyed when two episodes later they watched the movie based on that book. But I rather enjoyed that the fake version was as cheesy and horrible as its basis.

More people need to be watching this show. It’s so enjoyable, and I truly hope it continues for many seasons.